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Unveiling of Loveland HeART - March of 2015

January 16th, 2017

Unveiling of Loveland HeART - March of 2015

This heART sculpture is located at 215 E. 7th Street in Loveland, Colorado. Quick-Print Shop sponsored this heart. It took me 7 months from start to finish and I worked on it inside my house down in my art studio. To date, this heart has been my biggest challenge and greatest accomplishment. My family (husband and 2 beautiful children) got to be part of my journey - watching it come to life little by little and looked forward to each and every new creation on it, big or small. I cherish that the most. I was absolutely terrified to take on this project with something this large and complicated in the way of a 2 dimensional painting vs. a 3 dimensional painted. It took a lot of extra thought, planning and problem solving. Even with every challenge and obstacle that presented itself, this has been one of the most magical pieces to paint for me. There were moments when I didn't even feel like it was me doing the painting. It felt surreal as if someone else was painting and I was spectating - watching it all unfold and come to life right in front of me - much like a dream.

"Follow Your Heart"

Creating art from my heart and soul with bright, happy colors is my way of painting the world with smiles, hope and a little bit of magic!

I RUN ... a poem

October 28th, 2015

I took on running at the age of 36 with the most incredible group of women who took me under their wings when I was broken and taught me how to fly.

I was struggling with high blood pressure during the pregnancy from 12 weeks on and continued to have issues even after the loss and delivery of him at just 19 weeks. I was determined to better my health in honor of him and for the sake of my other two children who I am still so very blessed to have in my life. I was reeling from the loss of our child and left to battle postpartum and deep depression with two young children to continue raising. Running became my outlet, my freedom, my time with his spirit and the BEST way for my heart to cry and to heal. Three years later, I'm still running and my heart continues beating in honor of him.

I RUN

I RUN
When I am happy, sad,
Angry, scared, Frustrated
Or overwhelmed.

I RUN
To the sound of my music,
To the beat of my heart,
To the rhythm of my soul,
To the draw of each breath.

I RUN
In honor of my loved ones,
Those who have passed
And those who remain
And for those who are not able.

I RUN
And I pray
To count my blessings
To allow my heart to cry and heal
To free my spirit from chaos
To untangle the stress and refresh
To clear my mind and begin again

I RUN
Because I can
Because I never thought I could
Because tomorrow isn't promised
Because today I am still here

I RUN
Because the most amazing group of women
Took me under their wings when I was broken
And taught me how to fly.

-Tanielle Childers 2013

Three Years Ago Today ... a poem

October 28th, 2015

Three years ago today
We learned of your passing-
Our sweet baby-to-be
Gone from this earth,
To life everlasting

Born to be an angel,
On golden wings-
You took flight.
Soaring freely
Through the sky
Up to the heavens-
Up to the light.

Your life-
A beautiful gift
One of hope
And of promise
Your passing-
A humbling reminder
Of all the blessings
Still upon us.

This life-
Is so precious,
So fragile-
So salty sweet

Filled with moments
That clench our hearts
Steal our breath
Make us weep.
Rendering us helpless-
And unable to speak ...

And of moments
Filled with magic,
Pure joy,
Love and light.
Sweet memories
And reverie
To help carry us through
The dark of night.

Life is a gift,
I will celebrate today-
In loving memory
Of our Dason
Born an angel
On this day.

-Tanielle Childers Aug. 10, 2015

Maternal Heartstrings .... a poem

October 27th, 2015

Maternal Heartstrings

The sweet taste of hope-
Dancing lightly in my thoughts
A happy future-
Playing out in my head.
Daydreaming blissfully
In a sea of possibility-
I am overcome
With such emotion
From the place
Where my heart once bled.

I daydream often
Of a 'maybe' --
A hope, that most likely,
Will never come to light.
I daydream often of the thought
Of another baby-
A bright light to be born
Out of the dark of night.
I tiptoe carefully and quietly-
Through the shadows
Around this little flame of hope.
I am overcome
With such emotion
From the place
Where my heart once broke.

The bitter taste of reality-
Hits HARD..
And suddenly-
The bright lights have all dimmed
My daydream of hope
And lighthearted bliss-
Now scattered
And gone with the wind.
A momentary glimpse
Of what might have been,
But somehow-
Wasn't mean for me.
A heavy-hearted end
To a beautiful daydream
And the fairy tale thought
Of a 'maybe'.

As I grow older with grace,
Try to accept what is-
And learn to swallow my pride-
I am overcome with emotion
From the place
Where my heart once died.

-Tanielle Childers 2014

My Angel in the Sky .... a poem

October 27th, 2015

My Angel in the Sky .... a poem

This is a poem I wrote a couple of months after the loss of our son to be - at just 19 weeks gestation. We went in for our 19 week gender ultrasound appointment only to discover our sweet baby no longer had a heartbeat. I delivered our son, Dason, the next day on August 10, 2012. He would have been our third child. A tremendous loss that still leaves my heart broken and very slow to mend. Writing poetry is my way of digesting the experience and my futile attempt at trying to somehow make sense of it all - to find the good in the bad and try to celebrate the blessings even through the sad. The following poem is one of many about Dason and my painting shown above, "Tree of Life" is a dedication to him. Our loved ones leave permanent and beautiful lasting impressions upon our hearts forever - and the value of their lives, no matter how long they lived - mold us into who we are. Their deaths leave us forever marked - both grateful for their existence and yet broken by their departure as we begin to live this life without them. "The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears." -John Vance Cheney

My Angel in the Sky

The sun outside in shining bright
Not a cloud up in the sky
And yet this darkness swallows me whole.
My heart chokes on goodbye.

Sorrow wraps around me tight,
Making it hard to breathe.
And though I know this too shall pass,
For now I'm asked to grieve.

The life I once held close to mine,
Protected in my womb-
Has died and gone to heaven
And was taken much too soon.

Hold onto those you love so dear.
Memorize the moments as they pass by.
Live, love, laugh all you can
And learn from the tears you're asked to cry.

If nothing ever changed in life,
Butterflies would not be.
And heaven would have no angels
If God never set them free.

The sun outside is shining bright-
Not a cloud up in the sky.
My son's life and death has awakened me-
My heart beats for him this time.

His spirit wraps around me tight.
His death so hard to believe.
And yet the light he shines on me,
Gives me all the strength I need.

I miss him so, my beautiful boy
And honor his life by living mine.
I love him still, I always will-
My heart beats for him this time.

Hold onto those you love so dear.
Memorize the moments as they pass by.
Live, love, laugh all you can
And learn from the tears you're asked to cry.

If nothing ever changed in life,
Butterflies would not be.
And heaven would have no angels,
If God never set them free.

The sun outside is shining bright.
Not a cloud up in the sky.
If nothing ever changed in life,
Our angels wouldn't fly.

-Tanielle Childers 2012

I PAINT.... a poem

October 27th, 2015

I PAINT.... a poem

Writing poetry is another outlet and love of mine in this life. It's another creative way for me to express myself and my life's experiences. A diary of sorts. I typically only write poetry when the words begin to come to me ... holding me hostage until they are out and down on paper ... it's almost like putting a jigsaw puzzle together piece by piece and it is something I can't move forward from until it is finished (my thoughts processed and understood).

Here is a poem I wrote about myself as an artist/painter - what it is for me and why I do it - creating comes from a very sacred place ... where my spirit is totally free and totally me. Creating art from my heart and soul with bright, happy colors is my way of decorating the world with hope and a little bit of magic. It's my happy place.

I PAINT
With my feet on the ground-
My head in the clouds-
Happy colors on my palette
And music in my ears
To awaken my spirit.

I PAINT
With emotion,
My heart and intuition
With the energy I feel
Guiding my every decision.

I PAINT
To reconnect,
To stay true to myself
To feel alive
And to share my heart
With the world around me.

I PAINT
To leave smiles behind,
Tangible moments frozen in time-
In hopes that it will be shared
And enjoyed by more eyes than just mine.

I PAINT
To keep on giving-
Little pieces of my heart
That will go on living...
Happily ever after.

-Tanielle Childers 2014